What happens when we radiate like Moses: our first love testimonies

Testimonies are what I call love stories. What better time than the same month of Valentines Day falls, to talk about their power. As Christians, Valentines Day takes on a whole new meaning.

In light of Valentine’s Day– a day dedicated to celebrating love– I started thinking about the different “loves” I’ve had throughout my lifetime: boyfriends, best friends, family members, family pets, the blossoming love story between me and my Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru order…

But,

a few weeks ago while driving home from a church meeting, in the midst of the cold, dark highway, flecks of white snow dotting my windshield, something came to me:

Jesus is and always will be my first love; this is my testimony.

All my life, I’ve known I was a Christian. Even when I didn’t fully understand what that meant, I knew I loved Jesus. I got saved when I was five. But still, even though I felt love and believed in God, I didn’t really have a relationship with Him.

As I got older, I also became lukewarm. I dabbled in things I shouldn’t have, I survived through periods of selfishness, trapped and chained in my own obsessions, heartbreaks, and battles.

I had a handful of boyfriends before my twenties. Relationships ignited, but almost as quickly as “love” was lit, it burnt out. Even though this was often a result of treating each other poorly because of a lack of maturity and understanding, breakups when you’re a teenager and insecure about basically everything can feel soul-crushing and life-ending.

I even started writing depressing poetry using breakups as my muse. I just didn’t know what love was.

As for my spiritual life, it was becoming almost non-existent. I still prayed, but my prayers were empty; I still called myself a Christian, but the title was simply that: a title. And even as I hadn’t yet understood what love meant, I didn’t understand what being a Christian meant, either.

A few years ago, I was as far away from God as I’d ever been. I in an abusive relationship with someone who was hurting me over and over, and on a couple certain occasions, almost killed me.

One morning, while working at my desk job at my university, a man walked in. I thought he was just a student in need of assistance.

I didn’t yet realize I was actually having an encounter with God

As he began speaking, I felt an overwhelming quiet in the room. The hustle and bustle of everything going on outside was gone, and it was just us two. He asked how I was doing, then said that the reason he had walked in was because he’d felt the Holy Spirit calling him to– someone needed to hear from God.

He said he knew I was struggling with something terrible.

“God knows you’re struggling right now. He knows you feel like you’re far from Him, but He wants me to tell you that He’s with you. And although you keep wandering away, He keeps pulling you back into Him. He loves you so much,”

His name was Maverick, and we prayed together while I was in tears.

It was something that will forever be part of my story with Jesus. Despite my rebellion, Jesus hunted me down, met me where I was, and invited me to let Him carry me back home.

He said, Be held.

After that day, it was a fight. I had to let go. I had to wrestle my own fears and reservations and excuses out with God. If that man come to me that day, I may not ever have gotten out of that situation; I don’t know if I’d be alive today.

I broke out of that abusive relationship shortly after, with me a new faith that God walked–carried–me right out of that awful thing I’d gotten myself into. My life changed.

I felt the hand of my Father swooping back in to rescue His beloved child that had been lost and hurting for so long– years.

I thought, wow, what I was trying to hold onto the whole time was only artificial love in the arms of boys who stayed with me conditionally and conveniently. Then, I feel like God walked in and said, “My love is forever. My flame never burns out. What I have for you, no other human being can give. Come back.”

Flames burn out, but not when they’re fed.

And one of the first things that happened after was friends and family members remarking about how much better I looked, that I was “glowing,” that I just looked… happy.

That glow came from somewhere. It was more than what our culture often refers to as a newly single woman glow after leaving a toxic relationship. I know it came from my encounter with God. He revealed Himself to me in such an amazing way. And I was happy-in-love-again-glowing-radiant– my eyes were opened. A fire was lit under me.

I’m reminded of the story in Exodus…

When Moses comes down from Mount Sinai during the renewal of God’s covenant

The people see that his face is shining, radiant. Moses is shining because God had revealed His presence to him. Moses had had that amazing encounter.

People’s faces light up when they talk about people they love– it’s beautiful. That’s why Valentines Day can be such a true blessing. I love hearing couples talk about how they first met, where they fell in love, how God brought them together…

People glow when they experience the love of Christ.

Moses was the mediator between God and the people. And his shining face, his love, his faith– that was his testimony. The way our faces glow when we talk about what God has done for us, that’s the mediator between who is receiving our testimony, and God. We can’t take that lightly. Our words have power.

Love spreads; love is contagious.

I’m encouraged today that my testimony has taken on a new deep meaning for myself as I grow deeper in the Word of God.

I want Moses-sized faith, now, to go out and share my testimony. I’m encountering God now in different ways– each time, I am in awe.

I am in awe of His love,

of His grace,

of what He’s doing.

Our testimonies are love stories: our encounter with Jesus, our first love. He’s our first love because he knew us in the womb and loved us. He knows everything, including our words before they’ve ever been spoken, and our thoughts before they’ve ever existed.

There is no greater love than that of Jesus who died for the whole world– He saw you, and He saw me, sister.

This week, I’m praying for more radiant, light-shedding encounters with God that birth first-love testimonies for generations to come.

Happy Valentines Day to everyone! Be encouraged this week that your testimony is a love story that needs to be told.

Maybe, it needs to be written.

Love,

Lee

Scripture references:
Exodus 34
John 3:16
Psalm 139